I usually don’t get too personal on my blog, but why haven’t I? Fear that no one even reads it? Or people will judge me? No one cares what I have to say? I may offend someone who thinks differently than I? Well … I did just turn 30, which to some may not be a big deal, but it was to me.

Last year exactly around this time I was packing all my things in Nashua NH (including my Photography Studio) and moving here to Richmond VA. Why you ask? For Love. My boyfriend lived here and after a year of long distance, I took the plunge.  When I turned 29 then, I imagine my 30th (Yes I do like to look ahead and imagine how things will be … Yes, I’m working on not doing this because a) no one can tell the future and b) it NEVER turns out the way I pictured it in my head.)

Your curious what I did picture though? Well, I was partying in Vegas with my best girlfriends complete with a tiara and Birthday sash.  I would be engaged, which meant marriage at 31 and then baby soon after that.  Oh and did I mention my business would be booming?

Actual Reality: LIFE! My best friends are spread all over the country and have busy lives of their own.  I am now single, living in a new city that I have only known for a year and still establishing myself here in Richmond as a Wedding Photographer.

Will my life EVER be the way I want it to be? Will I ever be content? Will I ever reach the oh so high standards I set for myself? Will I ever find someone? Be married? Have children? Be as successful as the Photographers I idolize?  From the friends and close family that are currently living in their 30’s say it truly is “the best time of your life” and I am definitely looking forward to it.  I will say it is true that you do know yourself more, what you want, what you don’t want, what you won’t settle for, and what you know you deserve.  The truth is we all deserve to have it all.

I need to stop over thinking and really take a step back sometimes to realize what I do have, appreciate the blessings in my life, and live life one day at a time. You can’t compare yourself to others, it will just drive you crazy.  You have to accept people for who they are and can’t expect them to change, you can only work on yourself.  You can’t have regrets about the decisions you have made or the things you have done, because thats how you learn and grow.  If you didn’t decide to do certain things, you would always wonder ‘what if?’ or at least I would … and at least I know now. I have to believe that things do indeed happen for a reason, even if you may not see what that reason is for years to come.

My friend recently told me this quote which I would love to share with you: “If you keep one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you end up pissing on the present.”

I will continue to love with an open heart, follow my dreams, push my comfort zone, be loyal, honest, caring, creative, learn something from everyone I meet, and try extremely hard to live everyday as it were my last in this wild ride of what we call life… oh yes and can’t forget being fabulous in my 30’s.

Melissa xoxo

© Desjar Photography 2013 | Wedding and Portrait Photographer | Richmond VA, Boston MA, and Destinations Worldwide